Igor
by Sideshow Raquaelle
Summary: The Kung Fu Mystery Files story 7: Igor. Jane the Leopard, her Guardian Subterra Hammer Gorem and her Pokemon Honedge find a Portal that takes them to the Kingdom of Malaria and they meet Igor and his wise – cracking sidekicks Brain and Scamper and they help Igor to become the greatest evil scientist of all time by by helping him build the most-evil monster ever.
1. The Portal To Malaria

**Chapter 1.**

 **The Portal To Malaria**

The morning sun rosed up from the hills behind DillyDale and one by one, nearly everyone had awakened from their beds and began their day with a smile on each face, execpt for Mr. Stubborn, Mr. Rude & Mr. Grumpy.

Anja, Jane's mother, started the morning by making breakfast for Jane and her brother Milo. When breakfast was ready, Anja decided it was time to wake up Jane and Milo.

"Jane! Milo!" she called, "Breakfast is ready!"

Upstairs Jane woke to the sound of Anja calling and she carefully nudged her Guardian Subterra Hammer Gorem and her Pokemon Honedge to wake them up. Gorem unfolded from his ball form and Honedge woke up also.

"Good Morning Jane," said Gorem.

"Good Morning Gorem and Honedge," said Jane as undrawned the curtains.

Jane, Gorem and Honedge went downstairs to have breakfast with Milo and his Pokemon Raticate. For breakfast it was pancakes covered in syrup and two glasses of Orange juice and for Honedge & Raticate two bowls of Poffins.

"As it's a lovely day today," said Anja, "Why don't you five go out today."

"Okay, mum," said Jane.

After breakfast Jane and Milo put their messenger bags on their backs, they strapped the straps undernearth their bellies and they along with Gorem, Honedge & Raticate left the house. Jane, Gorem and Honedge went to the Grand Mr. Men and Little Miss Statue where they deiceded to rest for a little bit.

"So Jane," said Gorem, "What are we gonna do today?"

"Well, I don't know," said Jane, "Let me think."

Suddenly a strong gust of wind came and it blew a piece of paper into Jane's face. Jane removed the piece of paper from her face and she saw there was something written on it.

"What does it say?" asked Gorem.

"Hard to say," said Jane and she cleared her throat and began to read.

 _A map on tissue. A mass of wire. Electricity of the highest order.  
Somewhere in this live tangle, scientists discovered_

 _like shipmates on the suddenly-round earth_  
a _new catalog of synaptic proteins_

 _presenting how memory is laid down:_  
 _At the side of the transmitting neuron_

 _An electrical signal arrives and releases chemical packets._

 _What I had imagined as "nothing" are a bunch of conversing  
Squirts remaking flat into intimate._

 _Just as Jane finished the Poem,_ there came a flash of light, Jane, Gorem and Honedge turned to the statue pedestal. Gorem jump onto Jane's head and sat there.

"What was that flash of light?" he asked.

"Hard to say," replied Jane and she went to the pedestal of the statue, put her paw on it and much to her, Gorem and Honedge's surprise, it went right through it.

"I think I have opened the Portal leading to a New World," said Jane.

"Okay," said Gorem, "So what do we?"

"We are going to enter this Portal and find out where it goes to," said Jane. She got into a running postion and she ran into the Portal with Gorem and Honedge close behind her.

"AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Jane, Gorem and Honedge as they went travelling across Worlds.


	2. Meeting Igor

**Chapter 2.**

 **Meeting Igor**

After 3 hours of traveling across Worlds, Jane came tumbling out of the Portal and she felt the cold hardness of stone underneath her. Gorem and Honedge came floating out of the Portal and they went over to Jane.

"Are you okay Jane?" he asked.

"Yes I am," said Jane.

"That's a relief," said Gorem.

Jane got up and looked around. She realised that she, Gorem and Jane were in a Graveyard.

"Gorem, Honedge," said Jane, "I have feeling we are not in DillyDale anymore."

"If we are not in DillyDale then where are we?" asked Gorem.

Suddenly there came a clap of thunder and Jane, Gorem and Honedge saw a Slender hunchback person in a cloak come walking through the same Graveyard they were in. He was really surprised when he saw Jane, Gorem and Honedge.

"Hello," said Jane, "I am Jane the Leopard, this is my Guardian Subterra Hammer Gorem and my Pokemon Honedge."

"It's very nice to meet you," said the Hunchback person, "I am Igor."

"Nice to meet you Igor," said Gorem, "Could you please tell us where we are?"

"You are in the Kingdom of Malaria," said Igor and he invited Jane, Gorem and Honedge to come back with him to where he lived.

"Here in the Kingdom of Malaria," said Igor, "Everyday's forecast is rainy with a 100/ chance of horror. It wasn't always like this, though."

"Why wasn't it?" asked Jane.

"Years ago," said Igor, "Malaria was a sunny land of farmers, until the mysterious storm clouds rolled in and never left. They killed our crops and our people became poor. That's when King Malbert thought up a new way for us to make money."

"Oh, and what was that?" asked Gorem.

"Evil Inventions," said Igor, "The kind that crush you, kill you, bring you back to life, then kill you again, way worse. We invent 'em and the world pays us not to unleash 'em. It's a great gig. Especially if you're an evil scientist. Fame, fortune, a rent – free castle in the hills, they get it all, they're the top of the heap."

"And what is the bottom of the heap?" asked Jane.

"And the bottom of the heap?" asked Igor, "Those are the poor slobs like me born with a hunch on our back. Igors."

"What do Igors do?" asked Gorem.

"All Igor are forced to serve evil scientists," said Igor, "Our life is a permanent graveyard shift. But I never wanted to be an Igor."

"You didn't, how come?" asked Jane.

"I always wanted to be an evil scientist," said Igor, "Unfortunately, the hunch on my back was a one – way ticket to Igor School. I majored in Talking With a . . ."

"Stop right there," said Jane, "Did you say earlier that you always wanted be an evil scientist?"

"Yes," said Igor.

"We will help you with that," said Jane.

"You will?" asked Igor.

"Sure we will," said Gorem.

"Honedge," said Honedge.

"Thank you," said Igor, "Now let's countine on to Dr. Glickenstein's castle or he'll be wondering where I have got to."

When Igor, Jane, Gorem and Honedge made it to Dr. Glickenstein's castle, Igor told Jane, Gorem and Honedge to stay hidden from Dr. Glickenstein and then he went inside.

"Sorry, Master," said Igor.

"What did you say?" asked Dr. Glickenstein.

"Oh," said Igor, "I mean . . . Sorry, Master. I was in the bathroom. Had a bat stuck in the belfry, if you know what I mean, Master."

"I don't want to hear your toliet memoirs, you cretin!" said Dr. Glickenstein, "I give you five minutes a week to take care of your business! I'm running a resort here! Now get over there and . . . pull the switch!"

"Yes, Master!" said Igor and he pulled the switch. The machiary began working.

"Yes!" cheered Dr. Glickenstein, "Yes! Yes! Who's the failure now, Mother?"

From their hiding place Jane, Gorem and Honedge were amazed by what was happing until the alarms went off and the machiary stopped working.

"Mummy!" sobbed Dr. Glickenstein, "Mummy, you were right! I was never meant to be a scientist! I should have been a plumber like you!"

"That was the first time he was right all day," said Igor.

"You!" Dr. Glickenstein said to Igor, "Go find me a 16 – gigawatt temporal transducer."

"Excuse me, Master," said Igor, "Are you sure you don't mean 21 gigawatt?"

"You're correcting me?" asked Dr. Glickenstein and he grabbed Igor and threw him into a part of the lab.

"Strike!" laughed Dr. Glickenstein, "I should do more improv."


	3. Igor's Inventions

**Chapter 3.**

 **Igor's Inventions  
**

When Dr. Glickenstein was gone Jane, Gorem and Honedge came out of their hiding place and Jane quickly rushed over Igor.

"Are you okay Igor?" she asked.

"I'm fine Jane," replied Igor as he got up. Suddenly there came singing and there was a re-animated, immortal rabbit.

 _Good evening, friends._

"Who's that Igor?" asked Jane.

"That's Scamper," said Igor, "One of my most successful inventions."

A huge metal ball squashed Scamper, his squashed body was thrown on to a table and poofed back up.

"Why does he keep killing himself?" asked Gorem.

"I made him immortal," said Igor, "Which is kind of a hassle for him since he doesn't want to live."

Jane, Gorem and Honedge decided to introduce themselves to Scamper.

"Hello Scamper," said Jane, "I'am Jane the Leopard, this is my Guardian Subterra Hammer Gorem and my Pokemon Honedge."

"It's nice to meet you too Jane," said Scamper as he shook hands with Jane.

"No fair!" said another Voice, Jane, Gorem and Honedge turned and saw a robotic _brain_ in a jar, "You wasted your immortality formula on the wrong guy, Igor."

"Who's that Igor?" asked Gorem.

"That's Brain," said Igor, "One of my other inventions. When the smartest man in the world died, they put his brain in a jar. This is not that brain."

Jane, Gorem and Honedge decided to introduce themselves to Brain.

"Hello Brain," said Jane, "I'am Jane the Leopard, this is my Guardian Subterra Hammer Gorem and my Pokemon Honedge."

"It's nice to meet you too Jane," said Brain as he shook hands with Jane.

"If your name is Brain," said Gorem, "Why is it spelled Brian?"

"I was in a hurry," said Brain, "Stupid permanent marker."

"Enough!" said Igor, "The Evil Science Fair is in a week and Glickenstein is gonna lose, again."

"Ok, I get it," said Brain, "You want me to fix his invention. Now, I'll just need a screwdriver, some nails and my bag of marbles."

"Don't touch his invention, Brain," said Igor.

"If Brain cannot fix Dr. Glickenstein's Invention, can't you do it?" Jane asked Igor as he went to fetch the transducers.

"I could," said Igor, "But if he found out I did. He'd recycle me. Can you imagine being chopped up and used for body parts and God knows what else?"

"Horrible," shurddred Jane and Gorem.

"If I had my shot," said Igor as he looked out of the window, "I could be one of the greatest evil scientists Marlaria has ever seen. They'd all cheer my name, just like they do for the great Dr Schadenfreude!"

"Who's Dr Schadenfreude?" asked Jane.

"He's the Undefeated Winner of 17 Science Fairs," said Igor.

"Wow!" exclaimed Jane and Gorem in amazement.


	4. Undefeated Winner

**Chapter 4.**

 **Undefeated Winner  
**

Meanwhile at another Castle drums rolled and cheesy lounge music played.

"And now the master of disater, the chief of grief, a man who needs no introduction, but who will brutally torture me if he dosen't get one, Dr Schadenfreude!"

"Thank you, thank you," said Dr Schadenfreude to the clapping People, "You're too kind. And I'm not, but I want to welcome you all to my annual pre – Evil Science Fair party. My girlfriend, Jaclyn. She may seem like a shallow, conniving wretch . . . That's all I got. That pretty much sums her up."

Drums played and some people laughed.

"A toast to the undefeated winner of 17 Evil Science Fairs," said Jaclyn, "And the greatest evil genius in the world."

Suddenly fanfares played and a Royal Guard said:

"Bow for the King!"

The People bowed before King Malbet as he went through them.

"The greatest evil genius in the world," he said, "I remember when people used to call me that, back when the clouds destroyed our peaceful land of farmers, and my plan to backmail the world saved us all."

"Yes," said Dr Schadenfreude, "As you've told us all, over and over and over."

"Yeah?" asked King Malbet, "Well, here's more. Years ago, Schoddy's family name was Poekelmacher. His family were pickle markers!"

Everyone laughed when they heard this.

"So, what's your evil invention this year, Doctor?" asked King Malbet, "Kosher or dill?"

* * *

 **Later on In Dr Schadenfreude's Lab:**

"I wanna shove a pickle right where the sun don't shine!" said Dr Schadenfreude.

"You mean Malaria, Master?" asked his Igor.

"No matter how many Evil Science Fairs I win," said Dr Schadenfreude, "I always have to bow down to that idiot! I will never get the respect he gets."

"Respect?" asked Jaclyn, "Respect isn't gonna keep me in baby – seal boots. You just need to keep on winning."

"That is spoken like a true worthless leech," said Dr Schadenfreude, "Who still has not helped me steal this year's winning invention."

"Maybe if you were a real scientist," said Jaclyn, "You wouldn't need me to help you cheat every year. Your whole lab is fake, . . . just like you."

"And maybe I should throw you back in the gutter where I found you," said Dr Schadenfreude.

"You're one to talk, Doctor Schaden – fraud," said Jaclyn, "You don't have the guts."

Dr Schadenfreude and Jaclyn smacked Dr Schadenfreude's Igor 5 times, they glared at each other and then Dr Schadenfreude took Jaclyn in his arms.

"Is Daddy still mad at me?" asked Jaclyn.

"No," said Dr Schadenfreude, "But you and your friend Heidi still have a little job to do."

"Oh, we're trying," said Jaclyn.

"Well, try a little bit harder!" said Dr Schadenfreude, "Because this year, I won't stop at just winning the Evil Science Fair. I'm going to unleash my winning invention on the King's smug little face and then he'll be the one grovelling at my feet!"


	5. Unleashing Plan

**Chapter 5.**

 **Unleashing Plan  
**

Back at Dr Glickenstein's Castle, Dr Glickenstein was busily working the plans to his invention when there came Women yodeling.

"Hi, there! Look, it's your little girlfriend, Heidi," said Heidi, "You take a cocoa break and I'll guard your plans for your new invention."

"No, wait! You'll spill on my plans!" said Dr Glickenstein, "You're not careful enough! You're so sloppy sometimes."

"Oh, poopshkin," said Heidi, "I went to the evil bookstore and got you an inspirational poster. It's a little kitten, to remind you to always take time in your day for a little torture."

The box that Igor was carrying and that contain the transducers inside accidently fell on the floor.

"My transducer!" said Dr Glickenstein, "Time to go. No time for cocoa or kittens. I have to work alone and in secret. In other words, bon voyage."

He took the box from Igor and Igor picked up the scruched up Poster.

"Who doesn't like tortured kittens?" asked Heidi.

"I like kittens," said Igor.

"Me too," said Gorem from his, Jane and Honedge's hiding place.

"I don't like dirty little hunch people nor small, talking, brown balls," said Heidi as she took the poster from Igor, "Great, Schadenfreude's gonna kill me."

"And why are there two transducers?" asked Dr Glickenstein.

"Master," said Igor, "The 21 gigawatt might be somewhat safer, I think."

"Think? Igors don't think!" said Dr Glickenstein as he threw the second transducer at Igor, "I'm using the 16 gigawatt, you fool! Now, get over there and pull the switch!"

Igor ran over to the control panel and looked at Dr Glickenstein.

"What are you waiting for?" asked Dr Glickenstein.

"Yes, Master," said Igor and he pulled the switch. The machiary began working.

"Yes! Yes!" cheered Dr Glickenstein, "Oh, yes! I told you the 16 would work, you Igor! Behold my rocket ship! Born to stream through the world unleashing pain on and misery on everyone! I named her after you, Mother."

From their hiding place Jane, Gorem and Honedge were amazed at the sight of this invention until the alarms went off.

"Now to take the old cow for a test drive," said Dr Glickenstein and opened the door on his rocket.

"No, Master!" said Igor, "The rocket is going to . . .!"

KA – BOOM!

The rocket ship blew up and it killed Dr Glickenstein. Jane, Gorem and Honedge came out of their hiding place.

"Blow up?" asked Jane as Dr Glickenstein's arm landed on the floor.

"Er, . . . yeah, that," said Igor.

"Finally," said Scamper, "Now I can throw out that rug in the foyer. That thing is hideous. We were all thinking it. I just said it."

Suddenly there knocking at the door.

"Who's that? What am I gonna do?" said Igor in a panic.

"Relax, this is Glickenstein's castle," said Scamper, "He doesn't have to open that door for anyone."

"Open for the King!" shouted a Voice.

"Execpt for the King," said Scamper.

"He's here to see Glickenstein!" said Igor, "What do I tell him?"

"The truth," said Jane.

"And if he kills us," said Scamper, "I'll give you a beautiful funeral."

"The truth," said Igor, "That's a good option."

Jane, Gorem and Honedge quickly ran off to hide as the door opened and King Malbet entered.

"Glicky!" he said, "Glicky, my boy. Where's Glicky?"

"Your Highness," said Igor, "He's gone."

"Curse it!" said King Malbet, "I need to see his invention. Schadenfreude is too popular. The people might make him king. Someone has to beat him with an invention more evil than his. Someone who can snatch his number – one position and rub his face in number two!"

"Your Highness!" said Igor, "Dr Glickenstein is . . . creating life!"

"Did you say life?" asked King Malbet.

"Yes," said Igor, "Thinking, breathing life that can destroy freely all on its own."

"No evil scientist has ever been able to create life!" said King Malbet, "Oh, sure, they've mutated life, they've ended life, they've blasted life into a million gooey pieces, but created life? A weapon like that would be the greatest evil invention of all time."

"And it's inventor the greatest evil scientist of all time?" asked Igor.

"Of course!" said King Malbet, "This is what I've been waiting for. Make sure nothing happens to Glickenstein or I'll throw you down the recycling chute and use your hunch as a speed bump!"

Igor gulped.

"This is big," said King Malbet, "Schadenfreude's winning streak is over. Come on, boys, let's go kick some old people."

And King Malbet left laughing. The moment he was gone, Jane, Gorem and Honedge came out of their hiding spot and Scamper hit Igor.

"Ow!" said Igor, "What is wrong with you?"

"That's for having a death wish," said Scamper, "That's my thing."

"Igor's not gonna die, Scamper," said Gorem.

Igor pulled on a chain and swung to a window.

"For the first time ever," he said, "I'm gonna live!"

A lightning bolt struck Scamper.


	6. Pull The Switch!

**Chapter 6.**

 **Pull The Switch!  
**

Igor opened a door that lead to his sercet Room.

"I sometimes come down here to think," said Igor as he, Scamper, Brain, Jane, Gorem and Honedge entered the sercet Room.

"Wow! How interesting," said Scamper, "What's next, you gonna pull out a guitar and play us a song you wrote about being misunderstood?"

Igor switched on a light reavilng a secret Lab, he took hold a curtain and he pulled it back reaviling a unfinished monster. Brain and Scamper both screamed while Jane, Gorem and Honedge looked at it in amazement.

"Wow! Igor," said Jane, "That looks impressive."

"It sure does," agreed Gorem.

"I know," said Igor, "And she's not even done yet."

"Well, let's not waste time screaming," said Jane, "Let's get to work."

So Igor, Scamper, Brain, Jane, Gorem and Honedge got to work on building Igor's invention.

 _Baby, baby,_

 _It looks like it's gonna hail_

 _Baby, baby,_

 _It looks like it's gonna hail_

 _You better come inside_

 _Let me teach you how to jive_

Brain kept saying as Igor was making body parts grow:

"Come on, bigger. Make it bigger."

Then he instruted Igor, Scamper and Jane as they carried a huge hand:

"Ok, left. Very good. Now, back to the right. No, no, no! No, to the left. Now, back to the right. To the right. To the right. Is that even her hand?"

 _Oh, you gotta jump, jive._

"And now to make her skin indestructible," said Igor and he injected some serum into the monster's arm. He used a Laser Gun to make sure the skin was indestructible. When he shot the blue bounced around the lab and it hit Scamper.

"Did you see that?" laughed Brain, "Shoot him again."

Igor, Brain and Jane put on welder masks.

"And now the crucial last piece," said Igor, "The source of all the monster's power. The evil bone! I have to hurry, it loses its power in the light."

Igor placed the evil bone in 2nd fingure and he put the rest of fingure onto the evil bone.

"That's it," said Igor as he, Brain and Jane took off their welder masks, "Only one thing left to do."

"He said, 'do'," laughed Brain.

"Pull The Switch!" shouted Igor. His voice echoed. He saw that Jane was just standing next to the control panel.

"I hate being yelled at," she said sternly.

"Oh, I'm sorry," said Igor, "I was just . . . Please, pull the switch."

"Thank you," said Jane and she pulled the switch by using her tail. The machiary began working.

Brain whimpered and hollered and he cuddled Scamper.

"Rise!" said Igor, "Rise!"

Jane, Gorem and Honedge were amazed by what was happing until the alarms went off and the machiary stopped working.

"I . . . I don't believe it!" said Igor, "I'm failure. I'm a . . . I'm an Igor. Get rid of that thing. I never want to see it again."

"Funny you should say that," said Scamper.


	7. Blind Orphans

**Chapter 7.**

 **Blind Orphans  
**

Igor turned and saw that there was no sign of the monster.

"Er Igor?" asked Brain, "Yeah. Where did the monster go?"

"I don't know, Brain," said Igor.

"May I suggest looking behind you?" asked Scamper. Igor and Brain looked behind them and then back at Scamper.

"It was just a suggestion," he said.

Igor, Scamper, Brain, Jane, Gorem and Honedge backed together into a group as they looked about for the monster.

"Maybe it just . . ." said Igor, "Spontaneously combusted?"

"Oh, yeah, sure," said Brain, "I've read about that in, erm . . . Who am I kidding? I can't read!"

Suddenly there came clanging and eerie creaking, Jane turned and looked up.

"Err . . . Guys," said Jane, "You might want to look up."

Igor, Scamper, Brain, Gorem and Honedge turned and looked up and saw a huge, monstrous being. It swung on some chain, landed infront of Igor, Scamper, Brain, Jane, Gorem and Honedge, it looked at them, it then let a roar and crashed through the wall and was gone.

"And just like that," said Scamper, "She was out of their lives."

"I . . . I did it," said Igor, "I . . . I created life!"

"And I must admit it," said Gorem, "That you are the first Igor in Malaria to have created Life."

"Has that hole always been there?" asked Brain.

Igor, Scamper, Brain, Jane, Gorem and Honedge went through the hole, that the monster made, that led to outside.

"Come on!" said Igor and he, Scamper, Brain, Jane, Gorem and Honedge ran in the direction where the monster had been by following damaged trees.

"Let me get this straight," said Scamper, "We are chasing after the bloodthirsty monster."

They came across broken sign that said:

 **Home For Blind Orphans**

There came screaming from inside the orphanage.

"Oh, God!" said Igor, "She's killing blind orphans! That's so . . . evil! Which is great, but . . . Blind Orphans?"

Igor, Scamper, Brain, Jane, Gorem and Honedge burst into the orphanage and they saw that the huge, monstrous being was boucing the orphans about and the orphans where laughing and were saying:

"I wanna go next! I wanna go next!"

"I wonder what diabolical deed she has planned next," said Scamper, "Piggyback rides?"

"It seems we have created a kind, friendly and feminine monster," said Jane.

"Blind Orphans get everything!" said Brain.

"Your very large friend is a sweetheart," said a Blind Woman.

"No, she's not," said Igor and he marched up to the huge, monstrous being.

"I am your master," said Igor, "And I command you to stop this gesture of goodwill now and put them down."

The huge, monstrous being looked at Igor.

"Down!" repeated Igor.

The huge, monstrous being put the Blind Child down.

"Ok," said Igor, "Now you're gonna match right back to the castle, got it?"

The huge, monstrous being reach out it's hand towards Igor, it went past him, took hold of a flower and the huge, monstrous being smelled the flower.

"Those are paper flowers the orphans sell," said the Blind Woman, "Sounds like someone likes them. You touch it, you buy."

* * *

 **Meanwhile:**

"Master!" said Dr Schadenfreude's Igor, "I looked inside Dr Glickenstein's castle and didn't see anyone. But that's not all."

"Yes, it is," said Dr Schadenfreude, "Your voice is annoying. Now, to break into the castle and steal the plans like Heidi failed to do."

Dr Schadenfreude and Jacyln entered the castle by going through the hole that Igor's monster made.

"What did this?" asked Jacyln.

I'm guessing something big," said Dr Schadenfreude, "Something like this."

And he picked up and looked Igor's drawing of the monster.

"Life?" asked Jacyln, "Glickenstein invented life?"

"I don't think he had a hand in it," said Dr Schadenfreude.

"Well, if he's toast," said Jacyln as she picked up Dr Glickenstein's arm, "Who invented that?"

Dr Schadenfreude look at the drawing again and said:

"I don't believe it."

And he showed Jacyln the drawing and at the bottom of drawing there was Igor's name.

"Wow!" she said, "So not only is every other scientist smarter than you, an Igor is too?" Ouch!"

"Smart is not mouthing off to the man who has just found his way to take the throne," said Dr Schadenfreude.


	8. Hurt A Fly?

**Chapter 8.**

 **Hurt A Fly?  
**

Igor brought the paper flowers and he put them on the ground for the huge, monstrous being to pick up.

 _Oh, baby,_

 _Won't you please come home?_

 _Cos your little daddy's_

 _Gonna be all alone_

"She must be making a club of flowers to smash us with," said Scamper.

"This must be very embarrassing for you," said Brain.

"And he's not enjoying it much either," Gorem said to Jane.

"You are right there, Gorem," said Jane.

 _I never thought that we could part_

 _For every hour in the day_

 _You can hear me say it_

 _Baby, won't you please come home?_

 _I need you_

They soon made it back to Dr. Glickenstein's Castle.

"Ok," said Igor, "Clearly her evil bone wasn't activated when she came to life. That's it."

"So, what are we going do?" asked Jane.

"Oh! I have an idea!" said Brain.

"Is it about this situation?" asked Igor.

"No," said Brain.

"Is it even an idea?" asked Gorem.

"Is French fries an idea?" asked Brain.

"No," said Jane, "And French fries have nothing to do with this situation."

Igor just sulked and swatted a fly, that buzzed around him.

"So, how do you activate it?" asked Scamper.

"We need to kick – start it," said Igor, "We need to get her to commit one act of evil."

"She wouldn't hurt a fly," said Jane. Just then an idea came to Igor, Scamper and Jane. They looked at each other and Igor said to the huge, monstrous being:

"Ok, Monster, I command you to kill that fly. Kill it! Kill it! Kill it, girl! Come on! You're a killer! Maim it! Wound it! Insult it! Something! Kill it! Kill it! Kill! Kill! Kill!"

The huge, monstrous being smashed the table, the fly was sitting on with her big hand.

"You were saying?" Igor asked Jane. Just then there came buzzing and the huge, monstrous being opened her big hand and the fly flew away.

"No! No! No!" said Igor, "You're evil! Evil! Evil!"

"E . . ." said The huge, monstrous being, "Eva."

"What?" said Igor, "No, you're not Eva."

"Eva," said Eva, "Eva!"

"I think she wants to be called that," said Jane.

"What now, genius?" asked Scamper.

"Well," said Brain, "Thank you for asking. What we're gonna do . . ."

"Go soak your brain, Brian," said Scamper pushing Brain away with his foot.

"That actually not a bad idea," said Igor, "Monster want a brain wash?"


	9. Brain Wash

**Chapter 9.**

 **Brain Wash  
**

Igor, Scamper, Brain, Jane, Gorem and Honedge took Eva and went to a Brainwashing Salon. When they got there, they saw man with a fly's head sitting at a desk.

"Next!"

"Hi," said Igor, "I'd like to . . ."

"Hey!" said a Man on a fly's body, "Who you talking to? I'm the head guy here!"

"Oh, excuse me. Sorry," said Igor.

"What the heck is that?" asked Buzz Offmann.

"Its my Aunt Eva," said Igor, "She's getting a little sweet in her old age, so I'd like to evil her up a bit."

He walked up to a notice board that said all kinds of Brain Washes.

"How about the axe murder brain wash?" suggested Igor.

"Oh," said Buzz Offmann, "She must be very special to you."

The Flyman opened a door to a Room, Igor lead Eva into the Room, she sat down on a chair, a large hooker landed on her head and two tiny hookers kept her eye lids opened and she was about to press a Red button when Buzz Offmann stopped her.

"Hey!" shouted Buzz Offmann, "Don't touch that! It's a very complicated system. One wrong button and you'll be watching regular cable. You wanna waste your nephew's money like that? Huh?"

And he pressed the Red button and the T.V began showing a monster movie. The doors of Room 12 closed, the Flyman waved a handkerchief and Room 12 moved off.

"Gosh," said Igor, "I feel like I'm sending my kid off to school for the first time. You know, to learn how to murder."

While Igor, Scamper, Jane, Gorem and Honedge went into the waiting Room, Brain went up to the desk.

"Hi" he said to Buzz Offmann, "How are you? Great wings. Could you squeeze me in for a brain wash too? A nice thorough scrubbing?"

"What are you?" asked Buzz Offmann, "An imbecile?"

"Oh, parley italian," said Brain, "Taco grande to meet you."

"Yeah," said Buzz Offmann, "Take Brain to Room number 4."

* * *

 **In The Waiting Room:  
**

Igor climbed into a large chair while Scamper, Jane, Gorem and Honedge were looking throught a Card stand. Jane took one Card and it read on the front:

 **Wish You Weren't There.**

 **This Card teleports your enemy to you**

 **So you can destroy him in person.**

"Wow," said Jane, "Some of these Cards are darn well weird."

"But what happened to Cards that just blew your head off?" asked Scamper.

"Just think Jane," said Igor, "In a few short moments, I'm gonna have the most evil invention of all time. It's my whole life savings, but I think I'll treat myself. Oh, my hunch!"

Scamper took another card and it read on the front:

 **Happy Mother's Day**

Scamper open it and something banged in his face, but his face popped back up.

"See?" he said, "That's what I'm talking about. Simple, elegant, classic."

"Hold on just a minute," said Gorem, "Where did Brain go?"

* * *

 **In Room 4:**

"You've seen a lot or brains, I'm sure," said Brain, "Mine's bigger than average, right? No? Hello? Can you even talk? Canadians! I'll just watch TV."

Brain grabbed the remote control but he accidently dropped it in the water.

"Whoops!" said Brain, "Butterfingers."

Brain picked up the remote and pressed on it a few times but the TV did not come on.

"Oh, . . . great!" said Brain. He got out of Room 4 and went over to Room 12 where Eva was.

"Hey, monster," he said, "Can I borrow your remote? Thank you."

Brain went back to Room 4 and clicked on the remote but the TV still would not turn on.

"Aw, come on!" said Brain angrily. The TV in Room 12 changed over to a TV show about Acting.

 _To plumb the depths_

 _Of Blanche Dubois in "Streetcar"_

 _Is the ulimate challenge_

 _For any modern actress._

* * *

 **Back with Igor, Scamper, Jane, Gorem and Honedge:**

Igor, Scamper, Jane, Gorem and Honedge were still waiting.

"Well," said Igor, "Our evil burn should be out of the oven soon."

Rooms 4 and I2 turned up and came to a halt. The Flyman opened the doors of Room 4 and Brain came out.

"Estephan," said Brain, "You're a magician!"

"Where have you been?" asked Gorem.

"For a Brain Wash," said Brain.

The Flyman opened the doors of Room 12.

"I don't hear anything," said Igor as he crept up the Ramp. Suddenly Eva roared.

"It worked," said Jane.

"They did too much," said Gorem.

"Oh, was it?" asked Eva, "Was I too much? I was pushing, wasn't I? It was only a vocal exercise, but it's a beginner's mistake. I have to own that. That's just where I am. If only I knew whether I had the "it" factor. But you can't learn that, you just have to be born with it. Oh, listen to me going on and on about me, me, me. Let's talk about you, Jane. Do you think I have "it"?"

Igor walked into the Room and insecpted the TV progamme.

 _Let's thank our guest,_

 _Who has taught us in one hour_

 _A lifetime worth of lessons in acting._

"Acting?" said Igor, "Who changed the channel? Wait, where's the remote?"

"Move it!" said Buzz Offmann, "I need this room."

"No!" said Igor, "We need to un – brain wash her!"

"No can do, pal," said Buzz Offmann, "Every wash comes with a sealant guaranteed to last a lifetime. In other words, . . . buzz off!"

* * *

Igor, Eva, Scamper, Brain, Jane, Gorem and Honedge left the Brainwashing Salon and were heading back to Dr Glickenstein's Castle.

"Okay, things to do," said Eva, "Sign up for yoga classes, get new headshots, adopt children from all over the world. Oh, time for my elocution exercises. I need a box of biscuits. I need a box of biscuits."

"It's just faliure after faliure," said Igor, who sat in the front seat with Scamper, Jane, Gorem and Honedge.

"After faliure after faliure," said Scamper and Igor glared at him.

"Sorry," said Scamper, "I thought we were counting off all your faliures."

"We will just have to find another way to make Eva evil," said Jane.

"I need a box of biscuits," said Eva, "A box of mixed biscuits . . . Stop the carriage."

Igor quickly stop the vechiel.

"What's the matter?" asked Gorem.

"I don't mean to be a prima donna," said Eva, "But I need a bigger trailer."

"After failure after failure," said Igor banging his head on the steering wheel.

"After failure after failure after . . ." said Scamper.

Igor pulled a lever, the engine roared and Igor, Eva, Scamper, Brain, Jane, Gorem and Honedge countined on to Dr Glickenstein's Castle but unknown to them Dr Schadenfreude and his two minions were following them.

"That monster is about to be mine," said Dr Schadenfreude.

"Oh, really?" asked Jacyln, "How?"

"Well, with a little something I just stole for the occasion, ok," said Dr Schadenfreude. He put some goggles over his eyes, then he pressed a button and a large Gun appeared.


	10. High - Speed Chase

**Chapter 10.**

 **High - Speed Chase  
**

"Practise poses for the red carpet," said Eva, "Become an enviromentalist, but still fly private when necessary."

The engine on Dr Shadadenfreude's ride went revs and went over a bridge.

"A shrink ray?" asked Jacyln, "Oh, that's a genius plan for stealing a monster."

"I don't come down to where you work . . ." said Dr Shadadenfreude, "That's right. You don't work. So shut your cake hole! Now, to shrink Igor and steal his monster."

Dr Shadadenfreude aimed his Ray at Igor's vechiel, at that moment a doe came walking by. Igor gasped and quickly drove around the doe as a blue energy beam shrank it.

"Oh, God!" said Igor, "Did I hit it?"

"No," said Jane, "You did not hit it."

Suddenly there came beeping and as Igor turned to look, a Red dot appeared.

"What the . . .?" he said. His tyres screech as the blue energy beam shrank a tree. Igor drove faster.

"Pull over!" said Brain, "I'm getting jar sick!"

"Someone's trying to shoot us!" said Gorem.

"Paparazzi!" said Eva, "Why can't those vultures leave me alone?"

"This has totally ruined my spa day!" whimpered Brain as Igor drove faster and faster.

Dr Shadadenfreude shot again and a bit of the bridge shrank causing his ride to fall to the ground and countining to chase Igor and his friends.

"To the right! To the right!" he shouted.

"This is the worst car service I've ever used," said Eva as Igor drove more faster and faster. Dr Shadadenfreude shot again causing a crossing Rock to shrink leaving a cliff.

"Now I get to watch you, Jane, Gorem and Honedge die," said Scamper.

"Hold on!" said Igor.

Igor, Eva, Jane and Gorem screamed as the vechiel jumped over the cliff and landed on the other side. Dr Shadadenfreude's ride jumped over the cliff too and countined to chase them.

"Fire the rocket booster," said Dr Shadadenfreude.

"I can't see who it is!" said Igor.

"Here I come!" said Dr Shadadenfreude.

"Oh!" said Brain, "My beautiful face!"

"No more Doctor – Don't – Kill – Anybody," said Dr Shadadenfreude and he fired again causing another Rock.

"We're not gonna make it!" said Igor, ""We're not gonna make it!"

Igor, Eva, Jane and Gorem screamed again as the vechiel tumbled and fell on it's side.

"If only you'd made yourself indestructible," said Scamper.

This gave Jane an idea and she quickly shouted:

"Who wants to be a big movie star!?"

"Me! Me!" said Eva, "I do!"

The blue energy beam bouced off and reflected back at Dr Shadadenfreude's Ride, causing Dr Shadadenfreude and his two minions to shrink. The vechiel broke in halve and half of it dangled over the egde causing Igor to screamed as he fell but suddenly he felt something grabbed his hand, he looked up to see it was Jane holding his hand in her mouth and her tail was being held by Scamper and he was being held by Brain. Gorem and Honedge were still on the edge.

"This is a good time," said Igor, "To curb your suicidal tendencies."

"Hey," said Brain, "I can see my room from here."

* * *

 **Meanwhile:**

A Rat sniffed Dr Shadadenfreude and his two minions.

"Oh! Ugh!" said Dr Shadadenfreude, "Go away! Look, I'm very important."

"Ew!" said Jacyln scaring the Rat away, "What's that smell? Oh. Yes, wait, it's the big, whopping stench of failure."

"Ironincally," said Dr Shadadenfreude, "At an inch tall, you still have the biggest mouth in Malaria."


	11. Born To Play Annie

**Chapter 11.**

 **Born To Play Annie  
**

The vechiel suddenly fell off the edge and Igor, Scamper, Brain and Jane screamed as they fell but then the vechiel got lifted up by Eva and she settled it safefly on the ground.

"Thank you," said Igor.

"You're very welcome," said Eva.

"You . . ." said Igor, "You saved my life."

"As an actor," said Eva, "I feel things very deeply and I treasure all of life."

Eva started to hum as she danced about.

"FLY," said Brain, "It's actually me you should thank. I changed the channel on her brain wash."

"What?" asked Igor.

"Yep," said Brain, "And if she had been evil, she would have let us all die. So, technically, I saved us. But no need to thank me. Actually, a thank you would be nice. It could be in the form of a card or a poem, your choice. I also like ponies."

Igor angrily walked up to Brain, holding an axe.

"An axe?" asked Brain, "I don't want an axe. That's crazy. Why would you offer me an axe?"

"You made my monster an actress!" shouted Igor angrily as he swong his axe at Brain.

"This is why people are afraid of hunchbacks," said Brain as Igor chased him, "This! Right here!"

"What play are they rehearsing?" Eva asked Scamper, Jane, Gorem and Honedge.

" _Brain Dead_ ," said Scamper, "It'll be a smash."

Growing tired of Igor trying to kill Brain, Jane stood in Igor's way once Brain went pass her.

"Stop it!" said Jane angrily, "I'm sure Brain did not mean to do it, it was just an accident he killed!"

"The only thing killed here is my dream," sighed Igor.

"Bravo! Bravo!" cheered Eva, "You guys are so luckly to have work. If only I had a role I could really sink my teeth into."

An idea suddenly strucked Jane and she whispered the idea in Igor's ear.

"Eva, you're in luck," said Igor, "In four days, there's an audition for the lead in the biggest play to hit Malaria since . . ."

" _Blood Brothers_ ," said Gorem.

"Eva," said Igor, "This could be your big break."

"Oh, my gosh!" exclaimed Eva, "I don't believe it! What play is it?"

"Play?" asked Igor, "What play is it?"

"Is it _Annie_?" asked Eva.

" _Annie_?" asked Igor.

"So many terrific girls got their start playing Annie," said Eva.

"Yes," said Igor, "That's it, it's _Annie_!"

"So, it's actually a musical?" asked Eva. She started humming and she hitted out – of – tune high note.

"I think I just wet myself," said Brain.

"Someone sure can sing," said Jane and Gorem and Honedge nodded in agreemunt.

"Gosh!" said Eva, "Me trying out for Annie, the pluckly orphan whose song of hope lifts the heart of a weary nation."

"Yeah," said Igor, "Execpt in this version Annie goes nuts and battles evil inventions in deadly hand – to – hand combat."

"Wow!" said Eva, "How avant – garde."

"Trust me," said Igor, "You were born to be in this production."

* * *

 **Later On At Dr Glickenstein's Castle:**

 _The sun'll come out tomorrow_

 _Bet your . . ._

"No!" said Igor, "You missed it again!"

"Excuse me," said Eva, "Igor, but I think you're supposed to say "cut"."

"That's for film," said Igor.

"Film?" asked Scamper, "Can you imagine a face like that on a 40 – foot screen?"

Jane just shrugged and said nothing.

"Now, listen, Eva . . ." said Igor.

"Excuse me," interrupted Eva, "I'm a little distracted."

"What?" asked Igor.

"I think the make – up girl is out to get me," whispered Eva.

"That's Brain," said Igor, "He's not the make – girl, he's the idiot. Now, try to remember, on the word "tomorrow", you're meant to crush the evil invention to your left."

"You mean, stage left," said Eva.

"Yeah," said Igor, "Whatever. You're meant to smash it to smithereens."

"I know," said Eva, "It's just it looks kind of real, and I would never hurt anything real."

"The props at the audition will look more real," said Igor, "Some may scream when you smash them."

"Oh, really?" asked Eva.

"Yes!" said Igor, "And they'll also fight back. It's for reality's sake. If you don't want to be a real actress. . ."

"No, no, no," said Eva, "I do. I do! This is a block for me, but I will get through it."

"Once more," said Igor, "From the top, with feeling."

"I just have a teeny, teeny, tiny suggestion," said Eva, "I know I'm not the director, but at the end of the number, I would love to try something like this."

 _You're only a day awa – a – a – ay!_

Eva countined holding the note as she bits of the Room to fall down, Jane, Gorem and Honedge dived under a table. Eva stopped singing.

"Works for me," said Igor.

* * *

 **Later:**

Igor was on his own out on a balcony thinking to himself:

 _Dr Igor. Dr Igor Von Igorstein._

 _No, no, no. The Evil Reverend_

 _Igor Von Igorstein III._

 _I can't believe it. I might actually_

 _Be able to pull this off._

There came thudding and Eva came out on to the balcony.

"Good work today, Eva," said Igor, "You took some really . . . big steps."

"Thank you, Igor," whispered Eva, "I'm whispering to protect my voice. I really couldn't have done it without you."

"Isn't it beautiful?" asked Igor, "King Malbert has turned this country into a paradise. His tower shines out for all the world to see as a beacon of evil."

"And that's a good thing?" asked Eva.

"We were a nothing country until King Malbert taught us that the way to succeed is by doing evil," said Igor.

"This is a tough town," said Eva.

"Well," said Igor, "In this world, nice guys finish last."

"So, I have to step on people to get ahead?" asked Eva.

"Er, . . . yeah," said Igor.

"Well," said Eva, "I'd rather be a good nobody than an evil somebody. And so would you. Because you're good, Igor."

"Eva," said Igor, "Don't say that."

"It's true," said Eva, "You _are_ good. You're a good friend."

"Evil scientists don't have friends," said Igor. Jane, Gorem and Honedge

"Well," said Eva, "What are Brain & Scamper?"

"Headaches," said Igor. Just then there came a clap of thunder.

"And Jane, Gorem and Honedge?" asked Eva.

"Those 3 are just my acquaintances," said Igor.


	12. Talent Is Attractive

**Chapter 12.**

 **Talent Is Attractive**

"Hi! Welcome to _Cristall Clear._ I'm Carl Cristall. Tonight, our special guest is someone we all love and respect, Honkers the Gasey Monkey. But first, King Malbet."

"You're not wearing any . . . pants," said King Malbet.

"Huh. Oh, no, I'm not," said Carl, "I figure, why does an invisible man need to wear pants? It's very liberating, Your Highness. Sire, the clouds, were they a blessing or a curse?"

"Well, of course," said King Malbet, "I would never wish the clouds on my people. But we rallied together for the common good by embracing evil, and look at us now! Respected, successful."

Carl started scatching his buttom.

"What are you doing?" asked King Malbet.

"Scratching my invisible . . ." said Carl, "But getting back to my next question. The Evil Science Fair is two days away. Any predictions? Can anyone beat Dr Schadenfreude?"

"Well, I hate to predict," laughed King Malbet, "I mean, all the evil scientists are twisted fiends in their own right, but there may be a genius with an evil invention so revolutionary that Schadenfreude might finally get knocked off his perch!"

"The only one getting knocked off his perch is you," said Dr Schadenfreude, "I need that monster! I will not be beaten by a hunch – backed, pot – bellied, bulgy – eyed runt."

"I think he's kinda cute," said Jacyln, "Talent is attractive."

"I can just picture Igor and his monster now," said Dr Schadenfreude, "Plotting their deadly combat manoeuvres."


	13. Big And Round And Sweet

**Chapter 13.**

 **Big And Round And Sweet  
**

 _I got a woman as big a house,_

 _Yes, sir!_

 _She's as big as a two – family house_

 _With a porch and a fence_

 _You won't believe what you see_

 _When you look at at_

 _She's enormus, colossal,_

 _Tremendous, gigantic, immense_

 _Why try to deny it?_

 _She's just what I like_

Eva dance while she pushed objects away, she jumped very high and when she landed, she caused a floor board to send Igor falling into a box of hands, Igor tried pushing a hand off his neck, Eva then came over, removed the hand from Igor and chucked it away. Igor and Eva shook hands but then Igor's hand snapped off, Eva paniced but Igor pulled his sleeve to reavel another hand, he laughed and Eva went glum.

 _If she goes on a diet,_

 _I'll go on strike_

 _The bigger the figure_

 _The better I like her_

 _The better I like her_

 _The better I feed her_

 _The better I feed her_

 _The bigger the figure_

 _The bigger the figure_

 _The more I can love_

Jane design Eva's Annie costume using her Crayola Colouring Crayons, they were inside her messenger bag when Jane, Gorem and Honedge came to Malaria. Eva came over to look, Jane showed her the drawing and Eva laughed. Brain cut along Red material for Eva's costume, when he came to a bit where he could not cut, he really hard that a hand flew off, he saw it was Scamper's hand he had cut off. He placed the scissors down and crept away.

 _She's exactly like a watermelon_

 _Big and round and sweet_

 _And in a party dress_

 _She may be quite a mess_

 _But I love her a lot,_

 _So what if she's not so neat?_

 _The bigger the figure_

 _The better I like her_

Next they tried some different hairstyles for Eva's Audition, first Brain tried a fruit hat but Scamper shook his head, next huge black hair with ear rings but Scamper shook his head again, next Red hair with a white bow and Scamper gave a thumbs up.

 _The better I like her_

 _The better I feed her_

 _The better I feed her_

 _The bigger the figure_

 _The bigger the figure_

 _The more I can love_

 _If she ever eats me out of money_

 _And we need the rent_

 _That'll be a cinch_

 _Cos_ _when we're in a pinch_

 _I can put her to work_

 _Under a circus tent_

Igor played the piano while Eva dance, she put a rose in her mouth and learned on the piano, causing it to fall down. Igor and Eva laughed, they looked at Brain, Scamper, Jane, Gorem and Honedge and laughed some more.

 _The bigger the figure_

 _The better I like her_

 _The better I like_

 _The better I feed her_

 _The better I feed her_

 _The bigger the figure_

 _The bigger the figure_

 _The more I can love_


	14. Opening Night Presents

**Chapter 14.**

 **Opening Night Presents  
**

Igor, Brain, Scamper, Jane, Gorem and Honedge were still working on Eva's costume, when Eva came in.

"Guys," said Eva, "Can you come in here? I need to talk to you."

"If she's having a "woman problem"," said Scamper to Igor, "It's all yours."

Igor, Brain, Scamper, Jane, Gorem and Honedge entered the Main hall where Eva was, they sat down on a sofa, Eva came out from behind a curtain and Igor, Brain, Scamper, Jane, Gorem and Honedge looked at her to see what was going to happen next.

"Ta – dah!" said Eva presenting 6 presents wrapped up in Newspaper.

"What are those?" asked Gorem.

"Opening – night presents!" said Eva as put the 6 presents on a chair, "I know it's just an audition tomorrow, but I figured what the hey. They're not much, since I had to use stuff I found, but, well, you first, Brain."

And Eva gave the first present to Brain.

"An envelope!" said Brain, "You spoil me rotten, lady."

"I think we better open it," said Eva, "It's a new label for your jar."

"And "Brain" is spelled right," gasped Brain, "It is, right?"

"You shouldn't worry about labels," said Eva, "Because you may be a brain, but you have heart. In some ways, that's more important."

"Heart?" asked Brain, "I'd kill for a pair of feet."

"You next, Jane," said Eva as she gave the secornd present to Jane. Jane opened it and to her surprise, it was a black collar with Skulls on it and on the tag was her name.

"It's a collar for you to wear around your neck," said Eva.

"Err . . . thanks, Eva," said Jane as Eva put the collar around Jane's neck.

"On to you, Gorem," said Eva as she gave the third present to Gorem. Jane opened it for Gorem, since he was in still ball form, and much to his surprise it was a Plastic toy Green Grasshopper.

"It's a little Grasshopper," said Eva, "I just wanted to make sure that if you ever feel alone, you will have a little friend to talk to."

"Thank you, Eva," said Gorem as Jane put the Plastic toy Green Grasshopper into her messenger bag where her Crayola Colouring Crayons were.

"You now, Honedge," said Eva as she gave the fourth present to Honedge. Jane opened it for Honedge and to Honedge's surprise it was a Yellow Blue Polka Dots Silk Bow Tie.

"It's a bow tie," said Eva as she put the Yellow Blue Polka Dots Silk Bow Tie on to Honedge's pommel.

"Honedge," said Honedge, which mean't he was saying thank you.

"Open yours, Scamper," said Eva as she gave the fifth present to Scamper, "It's a prehistoric evergreen. They live forever. I want to make sure that if anything ever happens to the seven of us, you always have company."

"Great!" sobbed Scamper, "I must be allergic to it. With any luck, it'll kill me with its dinosaur – era toxins. Can we move on to Igor now?"

Eva gave him the sixith present.

"No one's ever given me a gift before," said Igor.

"It's something no director can be without," said Eva, "A beret! _Voila_!"

"That's French for "Stop pelting me and my ridiculous hat with rocks," said Scamper.

"It suits you, Igor," said Jane, ignoring Scamper.

"But what about our gift for Eva?" asked Gorem.

"Our gift?" asked Igor.

"Oh!" said Eva, "You guys didn't?"

"We did," said Scamper, "Where'd you put it, Igor?"

"It's . . . erm," said Igor, "In the other room."

He left, went into Dr Glickenstein's lab and muttered:

"Gift! Gift! Gift! Gift! Gift! Gift! Gift! Gift!"

Igor came back and Eva was still waiting for her present.

"Eva, . . . we got you this," said Igor, "It's a necklace."

And he gave Eva a necklace with a Golden tin on the end of it.

"It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!" said Eva, "Igor, can you? I would do it myself, but I'm all thumbs."

"Yeah, sorry about that," said Igor as he put the necklace around Eva's neck, "I got the thumbs on sale."

"I'll never take it off," said Eva, "That way all of you will be close to my heart forever. I need to go write this down in my sense memory journal. Where did I put my glitter pen?"

"This is the kind of moment that'd be tough for someone who wasn't mean't to be an evil scientist," said Igor, "Somebody who'd go all soft and want to tell her the truth. But lucky for us, I'm evil, right?"

"Yeah," said Scamper, "Lucky us."

"I don't feel lucky," said Brain.

"And the sooner this Science Fair is over and done with," said Jane, "The sooner me, Gorem and Honedge can return home to DillyDale and see Mum, Milo, Raticate and all our friends again."


	15. Wish You Weren't There

**Chapter 15.**

 **Wish You Weren't There**

"So we stay on track," said Igor, "Cos we're almost there, and I just don't let her get into my head."

Igor heard Eva hum as she went pass the window and he groaned.

"It's so hard being a little hunchback," said a familiar voice, Igor turned to see it was Heidi.

"Heidi!" he said, "Dr Glickenstein is under the rug. I mean, under the weather."

"I didn't come to see him," said Heidi, "I came to see you."

"Me?" asked Igor.

"By the way," said Heidi, "An Igor came by today and asked me to hand deliver this to you. And these are my hands."

"What is it?" asked Igor as he looked at the card, Heidi had given him.

"I haven't any idea," said Heidi.

" _Wish You Weren't There_ ," Igor read on the front of the card and as he opened it, a flash of red smoke engulfed him, he spluttered and he found himself in Dr Schadenfreude's castle.

"Oh, execllent!" said Dr Schadenfreude, "Wonderful! You got my card."

The Wish You Weren't There Card fluttered to the ground and as Heidi turned Eva came out.

"Is everything OK?" asked Eva as Heidi gasped, "I heard a strange noise."

"Oh!" said Heidi.

"I wasn't listening to you and Igor," said Eva, "I just . . . erm . . . Hi. We haven't met. I'm Eva."

Eva held out her big hand to exept a handshake from Heidi. But Heidi just whimpered.

"You're upset, aren't you?" asked Eva, "Who is this strange woman living with Igor, right? Believe me, we are just friends. As his girlfriend, you have nothing to worry about."

"I'm not his girlfriend," said Heidi.

"You're not?" asked Eva, "But the way he looks at you. He never looks at me that way."

"Maybe some men like girls who don't look like they've been put together at the junkyard," said Heidi.

"Right," said Eva.

"You have a very ugly face," said Heidi.

"Well," said Eva, "I have to go get some rest for my audition tomorrow. It was nice meeting you. Oh! Whoops!"

"Audition?" asked Heidi after Eva had gone.

* * *

 **Meanwhile At Dr Schadenfreude's Castle:  
**

Igor was in a pool with Dr Schadenfreude and Latin music was playing.

"So, how's your cocktail, Igor?" asked Dr Schadenfreude, "Is it nice? You like it? Is it coco – nutty? Coco – nutty enough?"

Igor was about to take a sip of his drink when Dr Schadenfreude stop him.

"Wait!" said Dr Schadenfreude, "You should be sipping in style. Igor! Crazy Straw! Right now! _Da – da – la – da da – la da_! Small trumpet. Isn't that better? Doesn't that taste better?"

"Excuse me," said Igor, "But why . . . ? I mean, why am I here?"

"You can drop that slur around me," said Dr Schadenfreude, "I don't even make my Igors talk that way. Isn't that right, Igor?"

"Huh?" asked Dr Schadenfreude's Igor, "Oh, that's right, Master."

"I've told you, call me Frederick," said Dr Schadenfreude, "Ok? That's my name."

"Ok, Frederick!" said Dr Schadenfreude's Igor.

"I have to get back," said Igor, "Dr Glickenstein will be missing me."

"Somehow," said Dr Schadenfreude, "I think he's missing more than his right – hand man."

Igor gasped as he was given a massage.

"Iggy baby," said Dr Schadenfreude, "I know all about Glickenstein and his deadness. I also know about your monster. I'm gonna guess your plan. You win the Evil Science Fair, and then everyone looks past the hunch thing and accepts you for the real you. You grab the girl of your dreams and cha – cha – cha your way to a happy ending. Am I close on this?"

"No," said Igor, "Not entirely. I don't know how to cha – cha."

"We're a lot alike, Igor," said Dr Schadenfreude while he and Igor were in the Steam Room, "I want to be more as well, but society won't let me, it stops me. This is my plan. I enter Evil Science Fair with your monster and then I win. I turn the monster on the King. Ding – dong, the King is dead. Long live the new king. Me! And then you come in as Malaria's new evil scientist, Doctor Igor. What do you say to that? Is that really nice?"

"You wanna overthrow the King?" asked Igor.

"I thought you wanted to be an evil scientist," said Dr Schadenfreude.

"I do, but . . ." said Igor.

"Stop thinking like an Igor," said Dr Schadenfreude, "Evil scientists do not let anyone stand in their way."

"Yes, I know," said Igor, "They step on people to get ahead."

"Exactly!" said Dr Schadenfreude.

"She'll never do it," said Igor.

"She?" asked Dr Schadenfreude.

"The monster," said Igor, "She's isn't evil. Her evil bone was never activated."

"So how do we get this evil bone and running? Huh?" asked Dr Schadenfreude, "We kick it, we slap it, we take it to the movies, call it Irene?"

"She needs to commit an evil act," said Igor, "But since she's not evil, she won't."

"Well," laughed Dr Schadenfreude, "Your troubles are over, then, cos I can get a woman to do absolutely anything."

"I – I – I don't know," said Igor.

"Don't tell me that you have feelings for thing?" asked Dr Schadenfreude.

"No!" said Igor.

"Good!" said Dr Schadenfreude, "Cos that would be pathetic. I can give you everything you have ever wanted."

"I think I need to go," said Igor.

"The Evil Science Fair is in a few hours," said Dr Schadenfreude, "You are either with me or against me. Yes or no?"

Igor quickly went to the door of the Steam Room and tried to open it.

"I take that as a no," said Dr Schadenfreude and he aimed a gun at Igor, "What are you going to do now smart guy?"

Igor kicked the bowl of hot coal at Dr Schadenfreude, causing him to scream and his gun fired and it caused the door to open. Igor ran out of the Steam Room and Dr Schadenfreude chased him until he slipped and fell into the pool.

Igor smashed the controls and the lid of the pool began to close.

"No!" spluttered Dr Schadenfreude.

"Frederick!" cried Dr Schadenfreude's Igor as he jumped into the pool as it closed, "Frederick, why are you swimming? You just ate ten minutes ago!"

Igor grabbed his clothes and ran out of Dr Schadenfreude's Castle. He stopped and panted, he looked at the beret Eva had given him as a Opening – Night Present and countined on back to Dr Glickenstein's Castle.


	16. Psycho Girlfriend

**Chapter 16.**

 **Psycho Girlfriend  
**

Eva was looking at herself in the mirror when Brain, Scamper, Jane, Gorem and Honedge came into her Room with her Annie Costume.

"OK, we finished your costume," said Scamper, "I just hope it's cinched enough at the waist. With more time, I'd have made it flare out a bit more at the knees. Stop touching it, Brain, I'm creating a look here."

"You guys are my friends," said Eva, "So you'll tell me the truth, right?"

"Sure," said Jane.

"Do you think . . . I'm pretty?" asked Eva.

"Brain, Jane, Gorem, Honedge," said Scamper, "Get me a tub of eyeliner, a pound of lipstick, and, if all else fails, the severed head of a supermodel."

* * *

 **Back At Dr Schadenfreude's Castle:**

The lid of the pool was opened up by Heidi.

"Please, take your own sweet time," said Dr Schadenfreude, "I'm loving it here."

"Really?" asked Heidi, "Then, maybe you should stay down there with your Igor, poopshkin."

"You know something?" asked Dr Schadenfreude, "He's a good listener, he's got soft hands, and, unlike you, he sometimes shaves his legs!"

Dr Schadenfreude's Igor sighed, slapped himself 2 times, groaned and fell to the floor. Dr Schadenfreude kissed Heidi but Heidi pushed him away.

"Wait," said Heidi, "No kissing Heidi."

She swallowed a pill and transformed into Jaclyn.

"Or do you like me better as Heidi?" asked Jaclyn.

"Hmm," said Dr Schadenfreude, "Jaclyn, Heidi. Jaclyn, Heidi. It would be really swell if you don't go psycho girlfriend on me."

"I'm not psycho!" screamed Jaclyn.

"Obviously not," said Dr Schadenfreude.

"How would you feel if every day, you had to be 13 different people?" asked Jaclyn, "I'm Jaclyn, your girlfriend."

Jaclyn swallowed another pill and transformed into another woman.

"Then I'm Dr Nachtmahr's girlfriend," said Jaclyn, she swallowed another pill and transformed again into another woman.

"Then I'm Dr Groaner's girlfriend," said Jaclyn, "All for you! To help you steal inventions year after year."

"And I still say those stolen pills were the best invention yet," said Dr Schadenfreude.

"Well, this time they really paid off," said Jaclyn, "Guess what Mommy found out about our little monster. Or should I say actress?"

"Oh," said Dr Schadenfreude.

* * *

 **Back At Dr Glickenstein's Castle:**

"Eva!" shouted Igor as he ran about the Castle looking for Eva, "Eva! Eva!"

Suddenly Eva appeared at the top of the stairs, dressed in a huge coat, some jellewry and had a black wig.

"Just breathe," she said, "OK, centre yourself in your body."

Eva twirled and said:

"I'm ready for my close – up, Mr Director."

Eva walked to the edge of the stairs but she began falling down the stairs.

"Oh, no!" she said, "This isn't happening! Act graceful! Act graceful! Keep smiling! Too close?"

"No. Eva," said Igor, "You look . . . You look beautiful."

"This is such a cliché," said Eva, "The leading lady falling for her director."

"Well," said Igor, "You're not used to high heels. Oh, you mean . . ."

"Our work here is done," said Brain.

" _Our_ work?" asked Scamper.

"All you did was play with a piece of Ribbion," said Jane.

"Yeah you did," said Gorem.

"Eva," said Igor, "About the audition. I think I've given you the wrong direction."

"But I feel so prepared," said Eva.

"No," said Igor, "I've been trying to make you play a role that you're not right for."

"What?" asked Eva.

"I have to tell you the truth," said Igor.

Just then there came the sound of a Woman yodeling and a:

"Ouchie!"

"Heidi," sighed Igor, "Just a minute."


	17. I Will Make You A Star

**Chapter 17.**

 **I Will Make You A Star  
**

Igor went outside to find it was Heidi.

"Oh, Igor," said Heidi, "Ow! My ankle! It twisted like the pretzel, Igor."

* * *

 **Back Inside The Castle:**

"Enchanting," said Dr Schadenfreude.

"Thank you," said Eva, "And who are you?"

"Someone who does not want your unique gifts to go to waste," said Dr Schadenfreude.

"Are you a talent agent?" gasped Eva.

* * *

 **Back Outside The Castle:**

"I was so deep – down worried that when you opened the card," said Heidi, "I thought I lost you forever."

"Heidi," said Igor, "I need to tell you something."

"I don't know what it is," said Heidi, "But I feel like for the first time in my life, I'm seeing the real Igor. And I think I'm in love with him."

There came a clap of thunder.

"Wow," said Igor, "When it rains, it pours."

* * *

 **Back Inside The Castle:**

"No, no," said Eva.

"Igor is a liar," said Dr Schadenfreude, "He does this."

"Igor would never lie to me," said Eva, "Igor cares about me."

"Cares?" asked Dr Schadenfreude, "He doesn't care, because he built you to be a weapon!"

"No. No. No," said Eva, "You're wrong."

"He'll never look at you and see a woman," said Dr Schadenfreude, "All he will ever see is a monster."

"I don't believe you," said Eva.

"Open your eyes," said Dr Schadenfreude to Heidi kissing Igor, "Igor has someone else in mind for your role. There's nothing more for you here. Come with me. I will make you a star."

Eva took hold of Dr Schadenfreude's hand and Dr Schadenfreude led her away, leaving Eva's necklace behind and it fell onto the floor.

* * *

 **Back Outside The Castle:**

Igor pushed Heidi off him and gasped.

"What's wrong?" asked Heidi.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," said Igor, "But I've made someone else. I mean, I've _met_ someone else, who I made. It's complicated."

"Wait a minute," said Heidi, "You're rejecting _me_?"

"I'm . . . I'm sorry," said Igor.

"For that big, bumpy thing?" asked Heidi.

"How do you know about . . . ." asked Igor.

"I mean," said Heidi, "This isn't even the sexiest me, but come on! Look at you! You're hideous! You really are. And I kissed you! Oh! Yuck!"

Heidi took a pill and transformed into Jaclyn.

"You're a monster," said Jaclyn as she walked away, "And, as we know, monsters and only exist to be used."

And she left. Suddenly Igor gasped and said:

"Schadenfreude!"


	18. Recycled

**Chapter 18.**

 **Recycled  
**

"Eva!" shouted Igor as he ran about the castle searching for her. He saw Eva's necklace and picked it up, suddenly the door slammed opened as King Malbet and his guards entered.

"Seize him!" ordered King Malbet and two of his guards grabbed Igor, causing Igor to drop Eva's necklace.

"Where's Glickenstein?" asked King Malbet, "And before you answer, you should know that someone sent me this!"

"Your Highness," said Igor, "He's dead."

"And he didn't invent life, did he?" asked King Malbet.

"No," said Igor, "I did."

The guards all sniggered when they heard this and one of them said:

"An Igor inventing!"

"Silence!" ordered King Malbet, not knowing that Brain, Scamper, Jane, Gorem and Honedge were watching from on top of the stairs.

"Hunchy invented life, eh?" asked King Malbet, "Well, where is it?"

"It's a she," said Igor, "And I think someone's taken her."

"Well, if she comes back," said King Malbet, "We'll just tell her where to find you. In the Igor recycling plant!"

"No! Please! No!" cried Igor as two of King Malbet's guards carried him towards the recycling chute, "No! Eva, where are you? Eva!"

The two guards threw Igor into the chute and the chute closed. Igor went sliding down a long tunnel.

"Eva!" screamed Igor, "Eva!"

* * *

 **Meanwhile:**

The Annual Evil Science was starting, evil scientists were arrving in their carriages while Igors were pulling carts with their evil inventions on them.

 _"Lock Your doors_

 _And hide your loved ones._

 _It's the annual Evil Science Fair!_

"I'm Carl Cristall," said Carl, "And I'm coming to you live, invisible, and totally _au naturel_! Fans are talking their seats, including King Malbet himself. The scientists are in their locker rooms prepping their evil inventions."

Dr Schadenfreude's carriage entered the locker room, came to a stop and Dr Schadenfreude climbed.

"Here we are," said Dr Schadenfreude, "A dressing room fit for a leading lady."

There came crowd roaring.

"Wow," said Eva, "Listen to that! How many girls are auditioning for this?"

The crowd countined roaring as a ball, with a Igor inside, was bounced about.


	19. Honedge Evolves Into Doublade

**Chapter 19.**

 **Honedge Evolves Into Doublade  
**

Back at Dr Glickenstein's Castle Brain, Scamper, Jane, Gorem and Honedge open up the chute that lead to the the Igor recycling plant.

"I'm gonna go save him," said Brain.

"Wait," said Scamper.

"Look, maybe I'm not a genius, OK?" said Brain, "But I know one thing. I have to try."

"No," said Jane, "We were gonna say, "Wait, we're coming with you."

"On three," said Brain, "One . . ."

Brain pushed Scamper into the chute and jump into the chute after him, followed by Jane, Gorem and Honedge. They went sliding down the tunnel until they came to the recycling plant. There a huge claw grabbed Brain by his wheels, another grabbed Scamper by his feet, another grabbed Jane by her tail, another grabbed Gorem and another grabbed Honedge.

"What are you doing here?" asked Igor.

"We're here to rescue you!" said Brain.

"I don't want to be rescued," said Igor, "I'm an Igor, and this is what happens to us."

He pointed to a macerator and all six of the huge claws were taking Igor, Scamper, Brain, Jane, Gorem and Honedge towards it.

"Figures," said Scamper, "Just when I decided I want to live."

* * *

 **Meanwhile:**

At the Evil Science Fair, Dr Schadenfreude was waiting for Eva.

"Don't peek," giggled Eva.

"Don't worry," said Dr Schadenfreude.

"I hope I can do a decent audition without Igor's help," said Eva.

"Trust me," said Dr Schadenfreude, "I'm the one that's gonna bring out the real you."

* * *

 **Back At The Igor Recycling Plant:**

"This isn't you, Igor," said Jane, "Where's all that optimism and attitude?"

"I tried to be different," said Igor, "But the world wouldn't let me."

"Don't you want to go after Eva and save her from Schadenfreude?" asked Brain, swinging Eva's necklace infront of Igor.

"Are you trying to hypnotise me, Brain?" asked Igor.

"Yes!" said Brain, "But if that's not working, then how about this?"

"Ow!" said Igor.

"Eva needs you," said Brain, "You're the only hunchback that can stand tall and fight for her."

"Brain," said Igor, "That may be the smartest thing you've ever said."

Suddenly Honedge started to glow, causing the huge claw to let go of him and Igor, Brain and Scamper were shocked. Jane and Gorem, however, were calmed about it because they knew Honedge was evolving. When the light faded away, there in Honedge's place was a Pokemen resembling two swords sheathed on a plaque. Each sword had a pink eye with a black, linear pupil on the hilt, as well as a pink, tassel-like arm emerging from the handle, and the Yellow Blue Polka Dots Silk Bow Tie was now on the pommel of the second sword.

"Honedge," said Jane, "You evolved into Doublade."

Doublade looked at the macerator and then saw a control panel with two levers, he wrapped one of his pink, tassel-like arm around the left lever and pulled it, causing the machine to power down, he then wrapped his pink, tassel-like arm around the right lever and pulled it, causing the other five huge claws to let go of Igor, Brain, Scamper, Jane and Gorem and the alarm went off.

Igor, Brain, Scamper, Jane, Gorem and Doublade ran through a door into a tunnel and two Guards wearing uniforms chased after them.

"Wheels, don't fail me now!" said Brain, "Wheels failed me! Wheels failed me!"

Igor, Brain, Scamper, Jane, Gorem and Doublade countined running until they came to a stop as shadows of two more Guards were running towards in the direction they were running.

"We went that way!" cried Brain.

"What are you doing?" asked Gorem.

"Looking for the secret passage!" said Brain, "There's always a secret passage!"

"Darn it, Brain," said Igor, "There's not secret passage. It's over."

But once Igor pressed against the wall, a stone went clunk and a sercet doorway opened.

"I'm sorry," said Brain, "You were saying?"

"It's a secret staircase," said Jane.

Once Igor, Brain, Scamper, Jane, Gorem and Doublade enterted the secret passege, the sercet doorway closed, leaving the 4 Guards wondering where Igor, Brain, Scamper, Jane, Gorem and Doublade had disappeared to.


	20. Startling Discovery

**Chapter 20.**

 **Startling Discovery  
**

 _Welcome to you and the millions_

 _Of viewers around the globe!_

 _They come from all corners._

 _And just look at them. They're_

 _All worried sick about one thing._

 _World peace._

 _Well, tonight, it's within their grasp,_

 _And it has but a small price,_

 _And that price is £100 billion!_

The crowd began roaring.

"And I, for one," said King Malbet, "I think they can do it. If they don't, the evil invention last standing will be unleashed on the world! Oh! It'll just be too horrible to imagine."

* * *

 **Meanwhile:**

Igor, Brain, Scamper, Jane, Gorem and Doublade made it to the top of the Royal Castle.

"Where are we?" asked Jane.

"And why am I panting?" asked Brain "I don't have lungs."

"The tower of the King's castle," said Igor, "Look, there's the Killiseum."

Igor, Brain, Scamper, Jane, Gorem and Doublade looked at the machinery, that was working.

"Wow!" said Brain, "I don't know what it is, but I want one!"

"It's the beacon of evil on top of the royal castle," said Scamper.

"Wait," said Igor, "Is it a beacon?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" said Brain, "Where are you going? And bring me back a toy!"

"No time for toys Brain," said Jane.

Igor panted as his footsteps pound on another flit of stairs, soon he came to another door and opened it. There, he found himself at the top of the tower, where the sky was clear and the sun was shining, he walked to the railing, inhaled deeply and sighed. He saw a thunderbolt roll in a cloud.

"The King's beacon is really a weather ray," said Igor to himself, "King Malbet is making the storm clouds."

 _So, citizens of the world,_

 _I beseech you!_

"He lied to us," said Igor.

 _Call the number on your screens._

 _Yes, right there. You need to give,_

 _Just like we need to be evil._


	21. An Ugly Monster

**Chapter 21.**

 **An Ugly Monster**

"You need to be evil," said Dr Schadenfreude.

"I know my choreography," said Eva.

"I think you need to go deeper," said Dr Schadenfreude, "Have you ever done anything evil?"

"No," said Eva.

"Well, how can you play it truthfully?" asked Dr Schadenfreude, "You can't get this part if you fake it. Hit me."

"What?" asked Eva.

"Hit me!" said Dr Schadenfreude.

"I could never hit anyone," said Eva.

"Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" said Dr Schadenfreude, "Igor was right. You are not an actress."

"Yes, I am," said Eva.

"No, you're not," said Dr Schadenfreude, "No wonder he chose Heidi. I mean, she's beautiful and you are not. She has got talent and you do not."

"Don't say that," said Eva.

"Look at you," said Dr Schadenfreude, "You are pathetic!"

"No, I'm not!" said Eva.

"Yes, you are!" said Dr Schadenfreude, "You're a big, freaky . . . Buckle up, here it comes. You are an ugly monster! You couldn't act your way out of a . . . Ow!"

Eva hit Dr Schadenfreude and sent him flying, he hit the wall and fell to the ground. Suddenly the evil bone in Eva's 2nd finger began fizzing, Eva screamed and roared, the whiteness of her eyes turned black and the pupils turned green.

"We've got Annie," cackled Dr Schadenfreude.

"Malarians! Let's get evil!" cackled Carl. The crowd roar and fanfares played.

* * *

 **Meanwhile:**

Igor tied some rope and threw it down.

"What?" asked Brain, "You're gonna lower yourself down?"

"You've got your job," said Igor, "I've got mine. I'm coming, Eva."

"And bring me back a toy!" shouted Brain.

"Stil no time for toys Brain," said Jane.

Igor lowered himself down on the rope, he stop for a moment, sighed and countined on down, he suddenly slipped and screamed as he fell and landed on the roof of the Killiseum and said weakly:

"I'm coming, Eva."


	22. Tomorrow, Tomorrow!

**Chapter 22.**

 **Tomorrow, Tomorrow!  
**

"Pull . . . the . . . switch!" shouted the crowd.

 _And here come_

 _This year's evil inventions._

The crowd gasped as a door opened and a huge robotic bear came out and it snarled and roared. The crowd cheered again as another door opened and a monsterous plant – like creature came and it roared. The crowd cheered as more doors opened and more evil inventions came out.

 _What a menagerie_

 _Of mayhem – loving monstrosities!_

 _Take a good look, world._

 _Any of these could be coming for you!_

 _Only one evil invention left._

"Time for my crowning achievement," said Dr Schadenfreude, "Pull the switch!"

One last door opened and Eva, dressed in her Annie costume, came thumping out into the arena.

"That's Dr Schadenfreude's invention?" asked a man and the crowd began to laugh.

"Eva!" shouted Igor.

"Let the battle begin!" shouted King Malbet.

"No!" said Igor.

As all of the evil inventions started fightning each other, Eva began to sing:

 _The Sun'll come out_

 _Tomorrow_

 _Bet your bottom dollar_

 _That tomorrow_

 _There'll be sun_

"Let me through! Let me through!" said Igor, "I made her."

"You made her?" asked a man, "Hey, here's the genius Igor that made her!"

 _Just thinking about tomorrow_

 _Clears away the cobwebs_

 _And the sorrow_

 _Till there's none_

Igor gasped as he jumped into the arena.

 _Where I'm stuck with a day_

 _That's grey and lonely_

 _I just out my chin and grin_

 _Oh_

* * *

 **Back on Top of The King's Castle:**

Scamper opened the doors to the power of the weather ray, removed the sign away and started pulling at the wires.

"She's almost at her big finish!" said Brain.

"And if we don't destroy this weather ray," said Scamper, "It's really over!"

* * *

 **Back In The Killersium:**

 _The sun'll come out tomorrow_

 _So you gotta hang on_

"I can't believe Schadenfreude did it again!" said King Malbet, "What are you doing in the King's box, Schoddy?"

"I was about to ask you the same question , . . . Malby!" said Dr Schadenfreude.

"Malby?" asked King Malbet, "What's the meaning of this?"

"This means you're through," said Dr Schadenfreude, "Or should I say overthrown?"

King Malbet screamed as he fell into a pile of junk in the arena.

"Hey. You unhand him," said Jaclyn, "He's your new king."

"If you have a problem with that," laughed Dr Schadenfreude, "Take it up with the head of my complaint department, the big monster there."

Eva roared

"Majesty," said the Guards.

* * *

 **Back on Top of The King's Castle:**

"There's gotta be a faster way to demolish this thing!" said Scamper.

"Leave that to me Scamper," said Gorem. He floated down and he transformed into a large golem – like Bakugan with a hammer and bull – like horns and upward curved shoulders. Jane and Doublade climbed onto his shoulder. He swung his hammer and let it go of it, sending it crashing into the weather ray, causing it to explode.


	23. In The Dark

**Chapter 23.**

 **In The Dark  
**

The crowd gasped as Eva picked two wires.

 _Tomorrow_

 _Tomorrow_

 _I lova ya_

 _Tomorrow_

"Quickly, Gorem," said Jane when she saw what Eva doing. Gorem step into the Killersium and held it up to stop from falling. Jane and Doublade jumped off him into the arena to join Igor.

 _You're always a day a . . ._

"Wait!" shouted Igor, "This isn't you."

"Igor did create you to be evil," said Jane.

"I'm sorry I lied to you," said Igor, "I lied to you about everything."

Eva shrieked.

"This is just a role," said Igor, "You don't have to play it."

"Yes, she does!" said Dr Schadenfreude, "You're an Igor. She's an evil invention!"

"No," said Igor, "Everyone has an evil bone in their body, but we choose whether or not to use it. And as someone I love once said . . . it's better to be a good nobody than an evil somebody."

Just then there came light, the crowd look up to see that the storms had moved away and the sun was shining again in a clear blue sky. The crowd gasped and the evil bone inside Eva's 2nd finger stop fizzing and Eva regained her sweet personality.

"I'm not evil," sighed Eva, "I'm Eva."

"That is the correct answer," said Igor.

"Igor, Jane," said Eva, "I felt like I was in a dark, horrible place."

"We all were," said Igor.

"Wait!" said King Malbet, "What's happening?"

"The end of Malaria's evil role in the world," said Igor.

"Camera two!" said Carl pointing the camera at Igor.

"Oh! Oh, excellent," said Igor, "Thank you. Erm . . . For generations, King Malbet kept us in the dark by creating the clouds with a weather ray. He lied to us. We trusted him and he lied to us. He tricked us into thinking we needed to be evil to survive. But we don't! None of us do."

The crowd all booed at King Malbet.

"This is outrageous!" said King Malbet, "He has no proof! Where's his proof? I demand to see proof!"

"You want proof, ah?" said Jane, "I'll give you proof. Gorem destroy him!"

King Malbet whimpered as Gorem raised his left foot and with a great Thud, King Malbet was crushed to death by Gorem.

"Long live King Schadenfreude!" said Dr Schadenfreude, "Everybody! King Malbet the Liar is dead! Long live King Schadenfreude!"

Gorem stamped his foot very hard, causing Dr Schadenfreude to fall into the arena.

"Well, that was a short reign," said Jaclyn, "Hey, fellas, I'm single again. No more pills! They can't see what I really look like. Whoa!"

"My evil days are over!" said Eva, "From here on out, all evil doings will be handled by my manger/boyfriend."

The crowd cheered and they chanted:

"Eva! Eva! Eva!"

* * *

 **The Next Morning:  
**

Igor, Eva, Brain and Scamper gathered in the graveyard around the portal, that was on the pedestal of a huge grave, as Jane, Gorem and Doublade were about to leave and return to DillyDale. Gorem was back in his ball form and Jane had her messenger bag back on her back, the straps were strapped back undernearth her belly and inside the bag were Jane's Crayola Colouring Crayons and Gorem's Plastic toy Green Grasshopper.

"It was nice having you, Gorem and Doublade around Jane," said Igor.

"Thank you Igor," said Jane. She turned to Eva.

"Eva," said Jane, "Thank you for this collar you gave me as a Opening – Night Gift."

"And thank you for the Plastic toy Green Grasshopper too," said Gorem, "It's means me, Jane and Doublade have a little bit of Malaria to take back home with us."

"But you 3 will come back again soon, won't you?" asked Brain.

"Yes we will Brain," said Jane, "Ready?" she asked Gorem and Doublade.

"Ready!" said Gorem.

"Doublade!" said Doublade.

Jane walked through the portal, with Gorem and Doublade in tow as Igor, Eva, Brain and Scamper watched them leave.

* * *

 **Later on:**

Igor ran up to the Malaria Community Theater, and he was looking for Eva.

"President Igor," said Carl, "Now that you're in charge, will pants be as expensive and uncomfortable as they were under the previous administration?"

"What? Whay? No," said Igor, "Everything's about pants. Why is everything about pants with you?"

"Another politician afraid to answer the tough pants – related questions of Carl Cristall," said Carl.


	24. A Big Step

**Chapter 24.**

 **A Big Step  
**

"Pickles," said Dr Schadenfreude, who was now a Pickle Salesman, "Old family recipe. Pickles."

"Cocoas!" said a female Igor, "Strudel!"

"Mmm – hmm!" said Dr Schadenfreude's Igor.

"Yuck!" said the female Igor, "Pick me up at 7. I'm gonna go home and shave."

Igor ran on to the stage, and he found Scamper, who was getting the blind orphans from Chapter 7 get ready for a preformance.

"Hey, Scamper," said Igor, "Have you seen Eva?"

"No," said Scamper, "Go away. Hans, you're wearing this backwards! What, are you blind? Let's switch this around."

"So, what do you do?" a Woman asked Brain.

"I'm a genius," said Brain, "What do you do, mister?"

Igor decided to ignore Brain and he eventually found Eva.

"Sorry I'm late," said Igor, "I left your opening – night gift at the lab."

"Oh, my necklace!" said Eva.

"Look inside," said Igor. Eva took out some folded up paper and un – folded it.

"Oh, my gosh," said Eva, "You're really gonna make this?"

"Yeah," said Igor, "If it doesn't work out, we'll just adopt."

"It's a big step, getting a pet together," said Eva.

"After having Jane, Gorem and Doublade around," said Igor, "Everything will seem like a breeze."

Lively Music began playing and the blind orphans went out onto the stage and started to sing.

 _I can see clearly_

 _Now the rain has gone_

 _I can see all obstacles in my way_

 _Gone are the dark clouds_

 _That had me blind_

 _It's gonna be a bright, bright_

 _Sunshiny day_

 _It's gonna be a bright, bright_

 _Sunshiny day_

 _It's gonna be a bright, bright. . ._


	25. Returning To DillyDale

**Chapter 25.**

 **Returning To DillyDale  
**

Back in DillyDale, the pedestal of the Grand Mr. Men and Little Miss Statue started to glow and out from the Portal came Jane wearing the black skull collar, she tasted the air as it blew through her spotty fur. Gorem and Doublade flew out of the portal and the portal closed.

"Sure is good to be back home in DillyDale," said Jane.

"Yes," agreed Gorem, "So what are we going to do now, that our adventure is over?"

"I know what we will do," said Jane, "Let's go to the DillyDale Cinema and see a movie."

"What a good idea," said Gorem.

So Jane, Gorem and Doublade walked away from the Grand Mr. Men and Little Miss Statue and headed over to the DillyDale Cinema, where they saw Mr Lazy in the ticket booth.

"Hello Mr Lazy," said Jane, "Can me, Gorem and Doublade have three tickets to the film, please?"

"Three?" asked Mr Lazy, "Well, OK, if you must Jane."

"What is the movie about?" asked Gorem as Mr Lazy gave Jane 3 tickets."

"It's a comedy about a turtle and a toad who win the lottery," said Mr Lazy, "Now enjoy the show while I enjoy my break."

Jane, Gorem and Doublade went into the cinema, Jane brought some nachos with extra cheese and she, Gorem and Doublade entered the screen room. On the left side of the screen room sat Mr Happy, Mr Lazy, Abby the Camel, her Guardian Subterra Dryoid and her Pokemon Scaggy and on the right side of the screen room sat Little Miss Helpful, Mr Tickle, Mr Scatterbrain, Mandy the Dog, her Guardian Pyrus Fangoid and her adoptive sister Sylveon.

Jane, Gorem and Doublade sat in the second row of seats on the left side of the screen room. A moment later Mr Pernickety entered the screen room, carrying a popcorn tin and a drink.

"Aha, yes, hmm, here, a little clean. Perfect," said Mr Pernickety.

The screen room doors opened to reveal Mr Noisy.

"MY," he said loudly, "IT'S DARK IN HERE!"

"Not Mr Noisy," said Mr Pernickety, "Oh, please, please find a seat at the oppsite side of the cinema."

"WHERE SHOULD I SIT?" Mr Noisy asked himself, "I DON'T LIKE TO BE TOO CLOSE BUT I DON'T LIKE TO BE TOO FAR AWAY EITHER. HEY THERE, MR PERNICKETY!"

Mr Noisy began to eat his popcorn very loudly, just then Mr Messy showed up.

"This is what am talking," said Mr Messy and he sat down next to Mr Pernickety. Mr Pernickety wiped the rubbish off himself and angrily crossed his arms, Mr Messy slurped his drink very loudly and then threw his drink onto Mr Pernickety.

"Mr Messy," said Mr Pernickety, "You soaked me in fizzy pop."

"MR PERNICKETY!" said Mr Noisy, "SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO WATCH THE MOVIE!"

"Sorry Mr Pernickety," said Mr Messy, "I'd offer a napkin, but I don't believe in them."

"No," said Mr Pernickety, "I don't espect you to."

Mr Messy started to eat his popcorn, then he wiped his mouth on Mr Pernickety's arm.

"Mr Messy," said Mr Pernickety, "I must insist that you do not wiped your mouth on my arm."

"LISTEN HERE, PERNICKETY!" said Mr Noisy, "TALK AGAIN AND I'LL HAVE TO CALL THE MANGER!"

"You're reporting me because of noise?" asked Mr Pernickety.

"Sshh!" said Jane, Gorem, Doublade, Mr Happy, Mr Lazy, Abby, Dryoid, Scaggy and Mr Messy.

Mr Pernickety look at Mr Messy, who bit into a hot dog and the sausage hit Mr Pernickety.

"I've been tourpedo by a frank thetere," said Mr Pernickety.

"THAT'S IT!" said Mr Noisy and he stomped away.

"Hey," said Mr Strong, "Is this guy?"

"YES IT IS, MR STRONG!" said Mr Noisy, "AND I DEMAND THAT HE'D BE REMOVED IMMEDIANTLY!"

"Removed?" asked Mr Pernickety. Mr Strong grabbed him and took him away.

"This is an outrage!" said Mr Pernickety, "I have been the perfect audience member, quiet and unasuming. Stop it. How will I ever know how this movie ends?"

And the doors of the screen room closed.

 **THE END**

 **THE NEXT STORY WILL BE ALCAZAR THE WOMAN DUPER**


End file.
